Windows 9
by RedEyedWarrior
Summary: Windows 9 is finally here and guess who's going to be among the first to by a computer running Windows 9! That's right! You guessed it! WARNING: There is no guarantee that the predictions I have made in this story will turn out to be true. I can be completely wrong in this.


**Sorry for my two weeks hiatus from my work. You see, my laptop broke so I had to get a new one. The new one has Windows 8. It's completely different from Windows 7 but I've gotten used to it already… I can't say the same for my parents though, heh.**

**But this event had me thinking: what is Trent's take on Windows PCs? And I'm talking about the Trent you'd read in my stories or I'll Cover Angel and Collins' stories. Read here to find out!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN **_**TOTAL DRAMA**_**. **_**TOTAL DRAMA**_** BELONGS TO TELETOON, CARTOON NETWORK AND **_**PROBABLY**_** DISNEY XD – CONSIDERING THE LATTER TAKES AGES TO AIR **_**TOTAL DRAMA**_** IN IRELAND AND BRITAIN. I ALSO DON'T OWN ANY MICROSOFT PRODUCT OTHER THAN WHATEVER INDIVIDUAL PRODUCT I'VE BOUGHT FOR MY OWN PERSONAL USE.**

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Windows 9

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_Somewhere in Canada, at some point towards the end of 2015:_

Trent was excited. Actually, to say that Trent was excited would be an understatement. He felt much better than someone who was injected with heroin for the first time. He was standing outside a consumer electronics retailer, waiting for it to be opened up so he can go inside and buy a new computer. Standing behind the musician were miles upon miles of people also waiting to get inside the shop.

It was a great day for Trent indeed. Why? Well because Microsoft was finally releasing Windows 9 of course! It was about time Microsoft released a new operating system, thought Trent, as he was sick and tired of using Windows 98. Windows 98 was slow, dull, complicated and outdated. Furthermore, Microsoft already withdrew support for Windows 98 so if Trent's computer got messed up he would be in trouble… until now! Sure, Trent could've upgraded to Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows 7 or Windows 8, but because they had no '9' in their names, Trent decided that these operating systems were unholy. He even went as far as to ban any follows of the Number Nine Religion from using the aforementioned operating systems. Of course, this didn't matter, as Trent was the only follower of the Number Nine Religion.

By the time the owner of the shop showed up Trent was on a massive boner. It was no surprise that the shopkeeper was disgusted, but he digressed. Like most sane people, he knew what Trent was up to off-screen so he decided not to risk getting cut up into nine pieces over questioning Trent's motives and expressions of excitement.

Trent reserved nine laptops, nine mini laptops, nine tablets, nine smartphones and nine desktops. A few more staff members showed up and they immediately began to install the anti-virus and Microsoft Office software into each device that did not come preloaded with that software. Sure, they could've just serviced one desktop, one laptop, one mini laptop, one tablet and one smartphone and tell Trent to do the rest of his devices himself, but they knew Trent would go ape shit if that were to happen. This took several hours and many of the other customers were pissed off at Trent for delaying everyone. But they all kept that to themselves and some of Trent's fans were witnessing this, quietly thinking this was humorous.

Naturally, everyone was disturbed by the fact that Trent bought forty-five devices in one day. They knew he'd have enough money to pay for all of that as Trent gets paid C$864 a day – or nine cents a second – by special intelligence forces because Trent's Number Nine Religion scared away aliens that were originally plotting to invade Earth (though Trent is unaware of this and mistakes the money he's been receiving as funds for his cult and personal life). Place, Trent won nine million dollars in a lottery draw because when the lottery announced a C$9,000,000 jackpot Trent bought nine tickets. When the Lottery agency discovered this they rigged the results so that every number drawn would be nine so that Trent would win and not wreak havoc. What crept everyone out was that Trent was crazy enough to buy nine desktops, nine laptops, nine mini laptops, nine smartphones and nine tablets. Why would Trent need nine desktops, nine laptops, nine mini laptops, nine smartphones and nine tablets anyway when one of each would do him? Nobody dared to ask.

Because he was purchasing forty-five devices, the shop decided it was easier to just get their delivery man to drop the stuff up off at Trent's house. This was Cody's job. So anyway, Cody had to let Trent ride in his van because Trent didn't bother to drive up to the store. Cody was familiar with Trent after all, so the store couldn't care less that Cody was not happy about having to let Trent in his van. Why would he be? Trent's a numerical cultist and Cody has four letters in his name.

During the ride, Trent turned on the radio and changed the station to channel nine. This pissed Cody off because that station was playing songs written by boy bands and lame hip hop artists that had the nerves to call themselves rappers.

"Trent, do you actually like this music?" Cody wondered.

"No," said Trent. "I hate it! But I made a pledge to the Ninth God that I would listen to whatever is on the ninth radio station, no matter what content is on it. However, I plan to write nine letters to that station again to get them to stop playing that kind of music."

"Again?" questioned a bewildered Cody.

"Yeah, I wrote nine letters to them eight times before," Trent explained. "If they ignore me again, I will personally go down to that station and give them nine pieces of my mind!"

"Okay, then," Cody shuddered. He knew that the reason why the station discarded Trent's letters was because of the fact that he sent nine copies of each letter he sent. Admittedly, Cody agreed it was a bold move of them, and he hated them because nine times out of ten they played crappy music.

"So are you going to set up some sort of computer lab with this many computers?" Cody wondered when they finally arrived at Trent's place.

"It'll come in handy when I have nine husbands, nine wives and nine children," smiled Trent.

"Isn't polygamy supposed to be banned in Canada?" Cody asked.

"Technically yes, but I plan to challenge this ban and make it legal to have nine husbands and nine wives at the same time," Trent assured Cody.

"Alright then," said Cody, resisting the urge to cringe. "Just sign this here," he said, handing Trent the clipboard. Trent signed it nine times even though he only had to sign it once. Cody took the clipboard and said: "Enjoy!" He drove off as Trent waved nine times. When he was done he proceeded to setting up his computers as he sang along to the _Number Nine Song_.

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**Well there you have it: my take on Trent's reaction to Windows 9. Obviously, there's no guarantee that the successor to Windows 8 will be called Windows 9, and there's no guarantee that Microsoft will release the successor in 2015. In fact, if a Microsoft employee reads this fic, there probably won't be a Windows 9 at all. Would I blame them? Not at all. Oh, and try out Windows 8. Trust me, once you get used to it, you'll fall in love with it.**

**I originally planned to update **_**My Big Fat Creepy Roommate**_** and **_**Rise of the Planet of the Nine**_**, but the two weeks hiatus has led me to developing a small case of writer's block. Also, I have a busy day tomorrow, I have a lot of deadlines to race against over next week and next weekend will also be busy for me. So please don't be surprised if I don't update again for the next few weeks. But I'll still try to work on these updates as fast as I can, provided I have the free time to do that. By the way, I'm taking a break from **_**Watch Out Girls! It's Sierra!**_** I was almost finished writing the fifth chapter for it, but it disappeared into oblivion when my old laptop broke. I need to get my head around all of these deadlines before I can undertake the emotionally straining process of writing it all over again. I still plan to have it done by the end of the upcoming summer, so don't fret.**

**Until next time!**


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